A League of Their Own (1992)

It's occurred to me that perhaps I should include the with the title of the movies the year when they first hit theaters. After all, there's people out there who think The Wizard of Oz was released in the 1970's. (It was, in fact, released in 1939.)

And so we have A League of Their Own, the first movie of mine in the A's section of my movies that isn't a cartoon. I'm actually planning on skipping the cartoons and coming back to them once we're through the live-actions. So yeah, A League of Their Own, first released in 1992.

Back in the 1940's, World War II happened. It was probably the single biggest turning point in modern history for a variety of reasons, and perhaps one of the tiniest parts of that bit of change was that, for a period of about four years, sports came to a bit of a crawl. Players enlisted in the army and went off to fight the Nazis, leaving the major leagues suddenly devoid of some of their stars. Baseball in particular saw a lot of losses, with such famous ballplayers as Joe DiMaggio, Ted Williams, and Yogi Berra trading in bats and cleats for rifles and boots. To my knowledge none of the major sports actually stopped play, they just, well, abbreviated their playing time. However, there were some people that worried that the sport may very well have to fold with so few of its stars available for play. And so, in an attempt to ensure that there would be some form of baseball going in the event that regular baseball did fold play, the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League was born.

This is where the movie comes in. A fictional version of the real league is presented from inception through the end of its first season, with the plot largely following two sisters who both end up playing for the Rockford Peaches. The sisters, Dottie Hinson and Kit Keller (wonderfully played by Geena Davis and Lori Petty), are a slugger and a pitcher, respectively, and help anchor both the Peaches and the overarching plot. Other characters include Mae (Madonna), a quick-witted bombshell with a bit of a shady past, Doris (Rosie O'Donnell), Mae's constant companion and sidekick, Marla (Megan Cavanagh), the token ugly girl who nonetheless can hit like Mickey Mantle, and of course Jimmy (Tom Hanks), the drunken slog of a fool who ends up managing the Peaches despite hating nearly every minute of it (from whom we derive the immortal quote, "There's no crying in baseball!").

The plot itself is pretty straightforward, although there are a few curveballs from time to time. Characters are added gradually and naturally, allowing us time to get to know each of them, rather than simply shoving them all in our faces at once. You really get the feel that this movie was intended specifically to tell the story of these women, who they were, and what they went through to do what they did, rather than simply being entertainment fare. A lot of the characters portrayed are based on real people (Jimmy Dugan was based on Jimmie Foxx, a former Major Leaguer who did end up managing one of the AAGPBL teams), and the script does an excellent job of blending fiction and fact without sacrificing either the integrity of the real story or the plot of the movie.

All that said, the movie is still at its heart a comedy, and it never loses sight of its fun side (Jon Lovitz's character still cracks me up every time). There are moments that will tug at your heartstrings, but at its best this movie is funny, lighthearted, and inspiring. And the sports part ain't half bad either, with the championship game turning into a true (and almost shocking) nailbiter. If I were redoing my Top Ten Sports Movies List, I'd probably bump this onto the list somewhere.

Rating: 8 out of 10. I'm not sure I'd be able to say there's any low points in this movie. No scene is wasted, the characters are charming and diverse, and the developing drama between Dottie and Kit is surprisingly captivating. Probably one of Tom Hanks' most underrated roles, too. Definitely recommended, even to those than don't much care for sports films.

Knowing.

I know, I know. It's been almost two weeks since I started this blog and I haven't gotten around to doing a thing with it yet. I said I was going to start on my own personal collection, and I'm gonna get to that gradually, but I actually watched a new movie last night with Angela, so I figured I should review that while it's fresh.

So yes. Knowing. Can I get a "double-you tee eff" up in here?

Let's start with the premise. Back in 1959, a little girl named Lucinda, who is a very brooding and tortured little girl who hears "whispers," suggests that her school place a time capsule in the ground for 50 years, which will hold within it pictures from all the students in her class depicting what they think the future will look like in 50 years. The pictures are mostly generic space-age Jetsons-looking stuff, but Lucinda's is... special. As in, it's just a whole ton of random numbers filling the paper to the brim on both sides. But, her "picture" gets put in the time capsule anyway, and after another scene showing her tortured by whispers, we fast-forward to Nicolas Cage in 2009. His son attends the same elementary school Lucinda did, and when they open the time capsule, he gets Lucinda's picture to see. He brings it home and his father (after about the third gallon of alcohol consumed over the course of the movie) ends up accidentally deciphering a sequential code within the numbers. Turns out the numbers aren't so random (gasp!), are actually dates predicting major disasters (what the criteria for "major" disaster is we're never given), as well as the number of people that would perish in the tragedies. Cage checks them all, and they show up to have been true, except for three dates that haven't happened yet... but will within the next week! Dun dun duh!!

Okay, so it's a shaky premise to begin with (the "whispering ones" that torture Lucinda end up torturing Cage's poor boy as well and are eerie as all get out, especially considering what they turn out to be), but that's not what bothers me about this movie. I can deal with shaky premises so long as the end result is compelling (or at least well done). It's not even that this movie isn't well done (I'd argue that it isn't).

Basically, this movie is the most hopeless film I have ever watched.

There is no happy ending. No matter how you try to look at it, this movie ends in horrible calamity, with only a raw, untapped glimmer of hope left for humanity (yes, for all of humanity). It strings you along for about half the movie in the hopes that maybe Cage will actually be able to help someone through learning about these dates (he doesn't) until the final fourth of the movie, where everything unravels into a pit of despair the likes of which even Westley from The Princess Bride would've dreaded.

I think they made this movie with the likes of Deep Impact and Contact in mind, hoping that we'd look at the special effects as "cool enough to justify the story," but I just can't bring myself to say it. The acting, apart from Cage, is about as unconvincing as it gets (the boy they got made Jake Lloyd look like Macaulay freakin' Culkin), the plot is so telegraphed it reads like a made-for-TV-movie, and the ending... ohhhh, the ending.

Ultimately, the movie is just too darn depressing. There really aren't any high points in the movie. It starts out low and goes downhill from there, hitting you again and again with slaps of tragedy left and right. Not Hamlet tragedy, which serves a purpose, but The Day After Tomorrow tragedy, which is just frightening and horrible.

RECOMMENDATION: Don't. Just don't. It doesn't make you think. It doesn't make you excited. It doesn't make you happy. It just makes you depressed. Not my idea of a good time.

RATING: 3. It wasn't B-list fodder, and the effects are pretty cool, but if I wanted to learn about the end of the world, I'd read actual info about it, not take Nicolas Cage's word on it.